A woman had 8 children, all of them boys. So,
one day a magazine sent a
journalist to her house for an interview.
He asked her about the boys and what their
names were; she said 'Kelvin'.
'Right', he said, 'what about that blond one over
there?
'Kelvin', she said.
'Oh, and the tall one with the freckles?'
'Kelvin', she said.
'Well, and the little chubby one with the
baseball 'Kelvin', she said.
'Are all your boys called Kelvin?' he asked, 'isn't
that terribly
complicated?'
'Not at all', she said, 'it makes everything very
easy, actually.
When I shout: Kelvin, tea is ready!, they all
come.
When I say: Kelvin, it's time for bed!, they all go
to bed.
'I see'. But what if you want only one of them?
'No problem.' she answers.
'Then I call them by their surnames'.
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A couple drove down a country road for several
miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument
and neither of them wanted to
concede their position. As they passed a
barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
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A husband read an article to his wife about how
many words women use a
day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be
because we have to repeat everything
to men........
The husband then turned to his wife and asked,
"What?"
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A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know
how you can be so stupid and
so beautiful all at the same time."
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be
attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to
you! "
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Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent
quarrel, and hubby was
losing his temper.
Be careful," he said to his wife.
"You will bring out the beast in me." ...
"So what?" his wife shot back.
"Who is afraid of a mouse?"
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Never Argue with a Child! very cute and funny !!
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a
Catholic elementary school
for lunch. At the head of the table was a large
pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple
tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other
end of the table was a
large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had
written a note,
"Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
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A little girl was talking to her teacher about
whales. The teacher said it
was physically impossible for a whale to
swallow a human because even though
it was a very large mammal, its throat was very
small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed
by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale
could not swallow a human; it
was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will
ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell? The little girl replied, "Then you ask him". -----------------------------------------------------
"Tough times don't last tough men do!" - my platoon motto...
